8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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