remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize