Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
