It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
