I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
zippers are such a cool invention
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
