We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize