i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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