My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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