lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
