the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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