i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
