So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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