are you still at the devil's house?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Is it because I queefed?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
