Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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