I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
