singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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