Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
