If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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