what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
