if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
