Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
