no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize