whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
