drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
