We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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