508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
