is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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