READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
