nut hugger
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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