But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My life is pants optional.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
