You're a womanizer and a bitch.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
