I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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