Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
