My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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