How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
