he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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