Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
