Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
