I cockslap morals
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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