it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
