"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
