I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
