you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize