How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
