his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I cut my penus on the lid.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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