she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
