____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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