So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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