I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
