return my video game
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
