Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
