Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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