You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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