I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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