Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
