If i come over, it means nothing
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize