I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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