you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
