Do you still have your period?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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