I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
