i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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