She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
