i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
please come you make the beer taste better
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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