My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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