Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
