So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize