i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
