i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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