Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
