dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
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You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
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Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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