Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize