You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
