I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she looked like the before picture.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
